I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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