i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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