I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
