yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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