We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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