yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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