Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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