The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
