some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
The air taste purple.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
