there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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