I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
