OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
