Betty ford says i'm here all night
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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