I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
