I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
