Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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