my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
