The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
