Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
