I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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