by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
