Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
