So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
