i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
