is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
