Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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