We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
