He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
