I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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