so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I'm really busy with my period
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