They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
