yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
