Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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