I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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