Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
