the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
