Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
