I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
