By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
