tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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