You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
