She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
