Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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