Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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