Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
