i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
