I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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