who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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