I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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