too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
