remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
