i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
