She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
