i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
