theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
