we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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