i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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