Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
