i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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