the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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