he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
